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Catchy title, huh?  Seriously, posting has been a bit, well, nonexistent, here for for two weeks because work, sleep and research have kept me away from the keyboard.

Sleep?  Yeah, if you want good sex, you have to get some rest sometimes.

Work?  Yup, unfortunately, I still haven’t figured out how to make money from sex or anything related.  So, I have a day job and a sideline running mainstream internet sites.  Believe it or not despite running both for several years, I easily make 20 to 30 times as much money off moderate traffic mainstream websites as I do off adult sites with 2 to 3 times the traffic. Trent at Sell Porn Make Money has generously offered his advice and encouragement in turning that around, which should mean more time I can devote to writing for you sick freaks.

Research?  Yeah.  That’s what geeks do.  We don’t just spout the first shit that falls out of our ass.  We actually research - search, read, and best of all, experiment.  The research has been fruitful and there will be several new posts over the next few days that hopefully you’ll all find useful. Look for more tomorrow.

Intelligence is the ultimate aphrodisiac t-shirt

T-shirt says “Intelligence is the ultimate aphrodisiac.”

Here’s what two ladies say about why geek guys rule:

Why Geek Dudes Rule

1. They are generally available.
2. Other women will tend not to steal them.
3. They can fix things.
4. Your parents will love them.
5. They’re smart.

Image by TimRogers via Flickr

Geek girls rule, too:

1. They can hold a real conversation
2. They’re smart
3. They’ll help you set up the WiFi network as long as there’s sufficient bandwidth for their laptop and their XBox 360
4. You can buy the Wizards of the Coast gaming books and they’ll buy the White Wolf stuff
5. You buy the Wii, they buy the PS3
6. They can be wild in private and respectable in public
7. They’re always reading something that ends up involving interesting sexual ideas

So, now you’ve spent the last several days joining every social networking and bookmarking site you can find.  You’ve joined mainstream and sex oriented sites.  Your profiles are in sync, you’re using the same username so smart users can find you everywhere. What now?

Now it’s time to really tie it all together.

You started with Friendfeed, ping.fm and Profilactic and now it’s time to head back there.  You need to add every possible site feed, profile page,etc. to Profilactic and Friendfeed.  If you have a blog or website, add a link to your Friendfeed in a prominent spot and put the Profilactic “Where to find me online” widget in your sidebar.

Next, head back to ping.fm and add all the microblogging and status accounts there.  Set it up so you can update your status or microblog by instant messenger, email and even text message from your cellphone.

Image via Wikipedia

While you’re revisiting those sites, you’re going to find other sites I didn’t mention - if you like the look of one, join it! If it focuses on a genuine interest - that’s where you belong!  If you just like the feel of the site, that’s reason enough to spend the time.  And, with your social profile document ready, it won’t take that long.

You can go a bit further with tying it all together and if you have the time, it’s a great idea.  Set up a blog page dedicated to your social media accounts or even a site built around them.  Here’s a great example of what can be done with a little design and technical know-how.  (If that’s something you’d like, but it seems like more than you can handle, consider hiring a designer.  It will probably cost you about as much as two weekends of serious clubbing.)

Once it’s all tied together, start networking!  Here are some places to start:

• Join groups, forums, clubs, etc. on the sites you joined.
• Search users and add/message people who interest you.
• Find people you already know, online or personally, who are trustworthy and get them involved.
• Add “hub” people to your network. These are people who are at the center of what you’re looking for. For example, you might add me as you know that anyone else adding me shares some of your interests.

One last thing.  You’re never going to be done with this unless you just decide to be done. Keep your eyes out for more opportunities, add new friends, get to know more people and join new sites when great opportunities pop up. Whatever you’re looking for, you are bound to find other fun you never even expected.

In my first post on Finding Sex with Social Networking I noted the importance of getting separate email and IM accounts. The main reason I stressed there was that it was helpful to keep the usernames on all the accounts the same or similar to build yourself a “brand” and make it easier for non-premium members of sex sites to find you. There are a couple of other reasons, too. You want to make it harder for your boss, your parents or, um, whoever to find you. You don’t want someone Googling your work email address and finding out you used it to sign up for a fetish site. And you sure don’t want the IT department at work reading those emails.

Image via Wikipedia

So, the same goes for your cellphone right? Use your work cellphone and 1200 text messages at 11 PM might raise eyebrows in accounting. Not to mention how inconvenient it could be when the girl you sent your number to finally decides to call in the middle of an important meeting to announce on speaker phone that she can’t wait to suck your cock.

And let’s be honest. Some of the people reading this and a substantial number of the people on those sites are in relationships. Some of those are open relationships and some aren’t. Even if the relationship is open, that doesn’t mean you want your significant other to hear every conversation, read every text message or see the nude pictures your new friend sent. So, a separate cell phone that you can keep somewhere out of the way is a good idea.

Finally, you need a camera phone for this and for all the reasons I mentioned it needs to be separate. The difference in cost is under $40 and the quality of the phone itself is usually better than the bargain basement. If you don’t have a digital camera, it gives you an easy way to get computer quality (640×480) photos for websites, emailing or multimedia messaging to your prospective partner. It won’t take pictures worthy of making prints, but so what? If you want that, spend at least $200 for a great digital point and shoot camera or $800 for a digital SLR.

So, do you sign a 2-year contract with AT&T when you’re hoping to find someone steady in a few months? No. Get a throwaway phone, a prepaid. The plans have gotten ridiculously cheap with no commitment. The phone will cost you a little more, but still less than 2 months of a 2-year contract that you don’t need anymore and less than half the early termination penalty. Tracfone, Virgin Mobile, GoPhone, Verizon…whatever. Browse the phones and pick a little camera phone that works for you. Here are a couple of suggestions.

I got a Samsung A127 Mini-Benz for $65 at Wal-Mart with no airtime (it does come with a $10 “bonus” the first time you purchase airtime).  You can get the same model at Amazon.com with a $35 airtime card included. Tiny little phone makes it easy to hide if that’s necessary.  A decent little camera. The network has goodcoverage and if you pick the right plan, you get unlimited calls in network on days you use it.

Of course, there are lots of other options, like the Audiovox 8915 Snapper Prepaid Phone (Virgin Mobile)

One other thing. Don’t forget that you’re going to be holding conversations that probably don’t need to be held in public. There’s nothing worse than having your kid with you in the grocery store while some dumb bitch goes on about her sex life in crude terms at the top of her voice five feet away. Have a little discretion. Don’t understand what the hell I’m saying? Then you should read the Top 10 Cell Phone Etiquette Rules People Still Break.

Some more sites that might be of interest if you want to be on all the possible adult oriented social sites:

• Utherverse is the social networking branch of the virtual world Red Light Center. If you’ve played Second Life, Red Light Center is similar, but sexually oriented - the typical avatar is nude or in lingerie or sexy clothing, there is adult entertainment from strip clubs to porn theaters. Utherverse is free. Red Light Center takes money to really do much. (Put another way, guys, if you don’t pay your avatar will have a hairy bump where his penis belongs.
• Rude Space is an interesting MySpace/Facebook take off. It’s a lot more “fun” feeling on the front page and it’s very adult oriented. There are paid upgrades, games, etc. but basic signup is free and you can earn “Chips” by referring friends to get a free membership. (Yes, that means I would appreciate it if you use my link above to join. I won’t get cash, but I’ll get to have some fun.)
Image via Wikipedia
• SmutVibes has an interesting name and a definite sex oriented feel. The first half of the profile form seems lifted straight from a popular adult personals site, while the second half could almost have come off a career/business networking site. The bad thing about it is that most fields, even things like jobs and companies worked for, are mandatory. Fortunately, a simple “na” lets you get past. Looks like a fun site.
• Social Kink is a kink oriented social site. The software appears to be the same as xPeeps, but the site has a darker look - literally, it looks almost like the same site but with a black background by default. Still worth joining especially for those promoting a website, product, service or even blog and for those interested in fetishes.

So, you’ve gathered your information in a profile document, gotten some photos together, created a dedicated email account using your preferred username and dedicated IM accounts also with your preferred username. Great! Now it’s time to create your basic social networking and social bookmarking accounts and profiles.

In the mainstream blogging world, I stumbled upon (pardon the pun) a formula that works pretty well. I joined every site I came across. I especially looked out for new sites still in beta (or even alpha) development - being an early adopted meant getting noticed by early adopters. If you’re looking for dates, sex, etc. that may not be as important, though it definitely does raise your profile level. If you’re looking for a way to promote your brand, it can be very important. You don’t have to be superactive on all of them - just having the profile set up is often enough. Plus, we’ll be talking about how to link them all together, so even the less active ones become feeders and republishing points for the others.

So, your goal is to join as many as possible eventually, but short term where to start?

(Note: Where possible these links go to my profiles on the relevant sites. From there you’ll be able to sign up yourself and “friend” me. Feel free to add me on these sites to jumpstart your network.)

Start with accounts on Friendfeed, Profilactic and Ping.fm. These three sites accomplish three things to do one big thing - tie it all together:

1. Mashups - Friendfeed and Profilactic give you a place to aggregate all your activity in one place for your target to read
2. Easy posting - ping.fm is a service that allows you to post to many microblogging and social networking sites with a single action.
3. Badges - Profilactic gives you a great “Where to Find Me Online” badge that you can post on a blog or other service. Someone reading your journal wants to friend you on MySpace - the badge shows them how.

Next, you need to build your basic accounts.

1. StumbleUpon is a social bookmarking site. That means, basically, that you rate sites as good or bad and StumbleUpon gives you new sites to view based on your old ratings, friends reviews, etc. It is great for those interested in explicit sexual discussion, whether you’re looking for sex, blogging about sex or promoting sex related products or services (but DON’T SPAM or you’ll pay for it). Why? Because they have a setup where you can rate yourself as “X-rated” and then lower rated folks can’t see your profile, bookmarks, etc. so you don’t have to worry about corrupting the youth or mom stumbling across you. Well, unless mom rated herself as an X - I can’t help you there. Be sure to install the toolbar - it really is fun!
   Another social bookmarking site worth checking out, with a “Love and Sex” section is SugarLoving.
2. Twitter is a microblogging site. The idea is to post short statements called “tweets” about what you are doing at a particular time. You can post tweets, which have to be under 140 characters, on the Twitter site, by email or by mobile phone.
3. Flickr is a great photo hosting site that now allows photos up to what I’d call “hard R” rating. They do allow full frontal nudity, but as far as I know not explicit sex, masturbation, etc. Flickr is part of Yahoo and tied to your Yahoo ID. For hardcore photos you could give Image Beaver a try.
4. YouTube is the number one video site and a great place for sharing your videos up to about an R-rating. It’s a Google property, linked to your Google account and your gmail username. It’s great for sharing your favorite non X-rated videos. For the hardcore stuff, try SpankWire.
5. MySpace is the place for your mainstream sex/dating oriented social profile. Facebook is great, too, but the site itself is just less “fun” and “sexy” overall. Beware on MySpace though as there are a lot of kids and their uptight parents, so for anything too risque link off the MySpace page and keep the good stuff elsewhere.
6. For your first sex oriented social profile, I suggest xPeeps if you have any interest at all in the various parts of the sex industry even as a fan. If you want to avoid that, AdultSpace is a good choice. The old adult oriented social site CherryTap is now redirecting to an interesting site I haven’t joined but that may be fun - fubar: the first online bar and happy hour.
7. Side note: AdultFriendfinder and Alt.com have added social networking features that have real potential with everything from friend networks to blogs, but unfortunately they’ve taken a harsh approach to any mention of outside sites. They claim this is because of spam, but it’s also a ploy to sell added features like “standard member contact” for gold memebers. These are still good sites and ought to be on your list, but they should only be a small part of your strategy.
8. Last.fm is a music sharing service. I haven’t used it, but certainly sharing music you enjoy is a great idea for getting together with compatible people.
9. One other thing you may want is a blog. It can be part of the “tying together” strategy, about which more in the next post, and also gives you some content on that FriendFeed. MySpace and some of the others have blogging included, but they have drawbacks. If you want a useful tool, Blogger is decent and a WordPress blog is even better. Blogger is free, a part of Google, tied to your Google account. For a free WordPress blog, check out LustJournal.com.
10. Other sites. As I mentioned at the beginning, you’ll want to sign up for all the appropriate sites you can. Pretty much any social networking site can be useful as long as you play by their rules. Get the basics now and save that profile document.

Once you have these basics set up, you can go back to Profilactic, Ping.fm and Friendfeed and tie them all together. I’ll be back in a couple of days with more on strategies for tying it all together and building your friend lists. Check back to this series for updates on other sites and a big event coming up that will help you find lots of friends.